Monday, September 10, 2007


today was one of those days where i felt like a horrible mom because my sweet little boy was disobeying my every demand (or so it seemed). i thought, "do i not follow through?", "am i not strict enough?", "do i pose empty threats?"...the sad thing is - i can answer yes to those questions at times...every mom can, i hope!? but today, i did follow through on every punishment, so i felt like he was in time-out all day long. i felt like i was the worst mom, and when i was tucking him tonight i just felt so bad for hounding him all day long. then, as i bent down to kiss him goodnight, jack said "love you mom, i love you this much" (and then he stretched out his little arms as wide as they would go and he smiled so big).

at this point i felt even more horrible, but blessed all at the same time that my 4-year-old could have such unconditional love for me, and a wonderful ability to forgive and forget. it seems i am constantly being taught by the ones i am supposed to be teaching. if only i could show the same treatment to others who have offended me or made me cry.

and now, you are probably wondering why i have a picture of a dandelion on this post (i promise i will bring this all together)...well, when matt came home we had dinner, and i thought we would get the kids in bed by 7pm tonight (which is their regular bed time), not to mention their naps were non-existent today, but jack wanted his daddy to play some baseball with him, so i said "okay" (one nice thing today)...while we were watching jack hit the baseball, gracie ran around our backyard collecting all the dandelions. she loved to blow off all the seeds and watch them blow in the wind. she spent an hour busily picking and blowing and smiling and giggling.

i was reminded of a few things watching my family enjoying the evening, and pondering on the "naughty" day we had:
*it's okay to not always follow the schedule
*kids are kids (and sometimes we should be more "child-like" too)
*all it takes is time for things to blow away in the wind
*life is too short to sweat the small stuff
*at the same time, life is too short not to enjoy the small stuff as well

sorry for all my ramblings, but some how i feel better about myself when i write it down. writing is therapeutic for me.


Kate said...

Lara..I miss you and your little family so much I can hardly stand it. I can imagine having hard days with the kids and I wish I was there to come and give you a break, and then watch a girly movie after we put them to bed ...and lets not forget then sleeping in your soft sheets after that. I sure love you and I am sorry I wasn't there today to talk to when you called. Sometimes work really gets in the way of things. But please keep calling. Have a great day and just so you know, you are a great mommy.

Kristi said...

I love this post. It is from the heart. You are a great mommy! Such a good example to me!!! I enjoyed talking to you today. Your post wasn't a ramble. It was lovely. Thanks for sharing. That picture of the dandelion is very pretty!

danahollis said...

Ahhh... I always love to read your ramblings! :)

Being a mommy is the toughest but best job in the world!


diana said...

great post, i'm glad i'm not the only one who has those "bad mom" days.

Tracy said...

Mommyhood sure is a tough job and I'm right there with you. Hang in there!