"every day things" every day

(matt took this picture a little over a year ago because he wanted to depict life as it really is. this shot is so typical of my life with 2 small children, one in hand, and one on my hip!..a t-shirt, jeans, and tennies or flip flops)

last week i was talking to a mom of a little girl in jack's preschool class. we were letting our kids play for a little while on the playground before we put them in the car to go home. we were talking about the things our children loved at the time. jack, i said, was obsessed with super heroes. he loves dressing up as spider man or super man and captain jack sparrow! i told her that gracie wanted everything to do with babies. she carries her baby doll everywhere. she said that her daughter was very much into dollies too and that her daughter is always talking about the day when she can become a real mommy. then she went on to say that it bothered her because she didn't want her daughter to think that motherhood was glamorous....and that she needed an education and a career path to make a difference in the world. she didn't want her daughter to be "just a mom". well, i wish i could say that i stood up for mothers. quite frankly, i didn't know what to say. i can't even remember what i said, if i said anything at all, that comment sent me into deep thought and introspection at my life. the comment, "just a mom" haunted me.
then a few days later, i was nominated to be the historian for the board of parents over the school both my children will attend next year, and i was at the first meeting of the new board. i was talking to the women sitting on both sides of me. the women were talking about what they "do". one woman was a lawyer, and one was the ceo of public relations for key bank (the tallest building in downtown cleveland and largest bank of the state). when they asked what i do, the thought popped into my head, "i'm just a mom". but i said that i stayed at home, but i was a graphic designer and photographer. i also went on to say that i was a teacher for 5 years. WHY COULDN'T I STAND UP FOR MOTHERS?????
i was totally wrapped into society in thinking that unless you get a paycheck, you don't have a real or otherwise important job, which is so NOT TRUE!!!
the world would say that unless you
-increased sales by this much
-closed that deal
-won that case
-climbed more more rung up the corporate ladder
- gave that speech
-or received some sort of tangible reward
that what you do is not important. motherhood is not that way, aside from God Himself, no one sees what we do. most, if not all of the work we do, is behind closed doors. there is no bonus for doing 14 loads of laundry a week, and no award for the cleanest refrigerator...no one to cheer when you picked up the last toy or used the hand vac for the 17th time that day!
however, mothers are indeed important, and though the world devalues our "job", we must not. the poet william ross so eloquently wrote, "The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world." i found this quote in the book titled, "I am a Mother", by Jane Clayson Johnson. we are reading this book for our book club this month and i have found it to be uplifting and inspiring.

as mother's day approaches, i wanted to have this week to feel what i do counts, and that being a mother although so tiresome and many times thankless, is indeed a job, and not something to feel like less of a person because that is my "chosen career path". maybe it is just a day that the greeting card companies make a ton of money, but it's not so bad to have one day a year to pay homage to our mothers, and feel good about being a mom.

so although a baby on your hip, and a child in hand may not be glamorous, it's my life, and i love it (most of the time!)

may we teach our daughters that to be a mother is not to be "just a mom", but a true person who holds the future in her hands (or on her hip), and mothers make the BIGGEST difference in the world. i truly have a legacy of wonderful women behind me, and may the legacy i leave be just as wonderful.

fishies - a staple?

it's funny how little things in life change when you have kids. on my counter are jars of "staples" in my kitchen. wheat, flour, powdered sugar, sugar, oats, wheat thins, and fishie crackers. (the wheat thins are for me to eat on the run, and the fishies are for jack and gracie.) they eat fishies just about every day. it's handy to have them on the counter for the kids to reach. now that i have my kiddos, it is hard to remember/imagine life any different. although frustrating, tiring, and difficult at times, life with children creates an abundance of joy. each child brings different moments of joy to our life too. jack is such a lover (like his daddy). he is always telling me how much he loves me, giving me hugs, and planting wet smooches on my lips. the other day at football practice jack called out from the field, "mom, are you watching? i sure love you." the other parents chuckled while i held back the tears. hearing i love you from my children is the best. also, the other day i was making cookies and jack said, "sweetheart, can you bring me a cookie." i laughed for a long time. sometimes i will just be driving or walking somewhere, and i'll remember and laugh at his comment. (he has a good daddy as a role model.) one time i picked him up from nursery and jack said, "hey, pretty mama." he is a character. i love him. gracie is my little princess. from the time she was born, i can't go anywhere without at least one person stopping me and commenting on her beauty. several people have told me i should get her into modeling. (too bad she has a stubborn streak, or maybe i'd do it to save her money for college.) i'm a bit partial, but i think she is beautiful too. before she was born (actually, when i was pregnant with jack) i had recurring dreams about a little girl with dark curly hair and bright blue eyes. she would reach out her hands and say, "mama". when we found out that jack was a boy - i didn't understand why i had those dreams when i had felt so strongly that the baby in my dreams would someday be mine. when i was expecting for the second time, i hoped this baby would be the baby in my dreams. when we found out i was carrying a girl, we didn't pick a name right away. in my dreams, i had called my baby girl "gracie". if the baby i delivered looked like the baby in my dreams - we would name her grace. well, as soon as my baby girl was delivered and put on my chest for me to hold...i instantly knew this was the baby in my dreams. she was beautiful with dark curly hair and bright blue eyes. sometimes when she was first born i would look at her and cry. i thought that why would a baby this beautiful be sent to me. later matt and i were talking and wondering why i had dreamed about her when i was pregnant with jack. we both joked that jack stepped in front of her to come first so that he could protect her. (and boy does he). now that gracie is growing, she has such a precious little way about her. her name, "grace", fits her perfectly. every night i thank Heavenly Father for sending me these to little ones. they are far more perfect than me. may matt and i have the guidance from above to help these two find their rightful places in this life.

sometimes you have to look past the pee pee

last night i was staying up late because i went to pick up my paper, and of course i was too excited to work with it and sleep wasn't an option...let's face it - i would have laid awake for two hours and thought about what i should do anyway. iv'e learned a couple things about myself - and shutting my brain down to sleep when it's on a creative roll is not an option is one of them. it's almost like the creativeness in me surges adrenaline through my veins and keeps me up to finish my thoughts through a project...it kills me every time when i look up and realize it's 2 am and i have realized that my eyes burn and my arms are heavy (it's bizarre that my eyes never registered to my brain how much they burned)...is that just me or does this happen to anyone else? anyway, back to the reason for the title of my entry...at 1 am i hear jack crying; my gut feeling is that he threw up b/c matt had the stomach flu on monday night and i am just waiting for that friendly bug to visit the rest of us...i go in his room and notice that he had peed the bed.(not just a little pee either, but a 2 foot in diameter pee spot). my first reaction is to be mad at matt b/c jack usually doesn't pee the bed if he goes right before bed. however, my sweetheart reassured me that jack "took 2 huge pees" right before bed. anyway, jack is crying so i let him come lay in our bed for a bit while i am changing his sheets. when i come back into my room there was another huge pee spot on my bed. ( i was starting to get a little ticked b/c my bed doesn't have a plastic liner to protect the mattress like his bed does, and my eyes were really burning from sleep deprivation). so i have to wake matt, change jack, change the sheets, calm him down, etc, etc, etc. well my sweet hubby changed the sheets for me and said, "it's all right sweetheart, we are a team" - i love him - and i went and rocked my 3 and a half year old. i have not rocked him for so long, and last night the realization hit me that i might not get many more chances to do that. although i was tired, i relished in the moment of holding my firstborn while he fell asleep on my chest. i remembered how i used to rock him as a baby and truly felt like it was just yesterday (a saying i thought only old people said), and realized it was 3 years of yesterdays gone by. with 2 small children it is good for me to have occasional moments like this because it puts life into perspective for me, and helps me to enjoy every moment of their little lives...when they are 30 i know i will think - where did the time go? i loved holding him and feeling needed. i need moments like that in the quiet of the night or morning to remember to love each moment as it comes- even the pee pee.